Write a blog. Who knew that such a simple request could turn into weeks worth of struggle. For those of you who are just visiting, this tumblr account is being used as more than just at outlet for expression, it’s a means by whether I pass college or not. My English class was given an assignment to make a portfolio of all the work we have done over the semester, hence, here I am. This class has been a whirlwind. At the beginning, I thought to myself “wow, I’m going to sleep through this”. Weeks went by and it was continually easy, too easy. Then one day I felt someone slam my head with a ton of bricks. Okay, not literal bricks, but enough homework that made it seem that we. We were all of sudden piled on with projects, papers, blogs, and assignment, all of which I was not prepared for. We were left to “be creative” and “explore research on our own”. We were given little instruction and a lot of freedom. I hated this.  Never have I had a class, particularly an English, that did not lay out guidelines. I honestly thought it was going to be the death of me.
Okay maybe not the death. But I definitely thought I’d fail. How as time went on, I began to realize something interesting. I liked the freedom and sense of responsibility. This class, particularly this project and portfolio, has taught me how to be a self-starter. How to stand on my own two feet in college. For our very first paper, we had to write a reflective essay on how we feel about writing. Apparently, I had a lot to say.

My approach to writing, I believe, can be described as free. When I write I like to feel that I have the ability and confirmation to write what I feel with no condemnation. I don’t think that i am going to come to class with a sense of gloom or doom, but i do feel anxious because i am so far behind and feel like i am running to catch up with everyone. English is the worst class to be behind in because if you miss one lecture, it is like you have missed the whole semester. I’ve found that every day you learn something new and truly important to succeeding. i have a god attitude towards writing, as I write a blog. My only problem is when I am forced to write for class. I like to write about things that inspire me, transcend me; so when I read an article or have to write on a certain topic for school it makes the assignment more of a task and not an expression. Writing to me is connection. When you read the thoughts that a person has taken the time to express, you learn more bout them than you could have ever imagined. I have taken a couple writing prior to this at a previous college and I think that these have shaped me into the writer that I am today. As time goes on, I see myself becoming more of a professional in this field. One thing that is very important to know about me as a writer is that, especially because I blog, when I write I have troubles with the technical aspects of writing. I like to be open and free, not feel trapped by rules.
There are many thing about myself that make me who I am today. One of the most important is my culture. My family is from Haiti and we moved here when I was just 3 years old. I am the youngest of 3 children so there is a very strong Haitian atmosphere in our household, especially when our extended family comes around. If you do not know much about Haitians, they do not mess around. When your parents tell you to do something, you do it or you will be severely punished. Obviously as a kid I hated this, but looking back, I see it was a very good thing for me because it has instilled values in me that I would have thrown away otherwise. Another important fact about me is that I just got married this year on June 30th. I know I’m only 20 and everyone tell me I’m too young, but I do not believe it. I am a strong believer in love, but when I say love, I don’t mean head-over-heels, can’t be without you, high school crush type of love. I think that once you found someone that you are willing to work out all your issues with for the rest of your life, you can stop looking. I’m learning love isn’t only a feeling, but a choice. The final thing that I find most important in myself is my ambition. I set very high standards for myself and do not quit until I reach them. Currently, I am on a journey to get down to my goal weight. It has been an uphill battle but I am slowly learning how to take control and I am seeing results. I am doing this for 2 main reasons. One, because I feel more confident when I feel more attractive, and it therefore makes me a more happy person. Two, because of what I want to do in life. I am studying communication with a minor in journalism because I have high hopes for my future. I honestly see myself one day having my own TV show. I want a talk show that discusses everyday issues in the world, a talk show that all age groups and both sexes can relate to. I know this is probably a goal for many people in this world. But unlike others, I am not expecting this to happen overnight. I already know this is going to take many years of hard-work and dedication, and this is something that I am more than willing to put in. My husband is a graphic designer and as soon as I graduate school we want to move to New York with both our degrees and really go after our dreams (he’s already started his however). Neither of us want to live mediocre or common lives. If we aren’t doing something that we love for the rest of our lives, then we have failed.

 It’s crazy how much I had to say on that first day, because half-way through the semester, we were asked to write another writing piece on how we feel as a writer. This piece, the midterm reflective letter, was dramatically shorter.

 In general, I love to write. I think it’s a good way to express feelings when you don’t have the courage or willpower to actually talk about them. It has always been an outlet for me, even when I was just a young girl writing in journals. I feel free when I write, uninhibited. One thing I do not like though is writing research papers. The fact that it has to be so formal and structured and I am not able to express myself in any way bothers me. At that point, it does not become fun for me, it becomes a chore. I find myself unable to think of anything to say and I can never find any research to back up my topic. I definitely write differently depending on the situations. In my blog, I write as though I am only talking to myself. In the magazine I write for, I am consciously aware that I have an audience so I try to make it sound a little more professional but still original. For school I don’t really put that much of my heart into it as I normally would. I think because I dislike school in general it makes everything I do while I’m here seem ridiculously hard when really I’m overcomplicating it all. Genre to make is a generalized theme to writing. I still have no clue what a rhetoric is, I should probably learn. I don’t believe there is good or bad writing. I think the way people write is individualized to them and therefore it makes it good. When you start putting a stigma in writing, that’s when it turns “bad”. It turns into something people dread to do. Everyone should feel free to write how and what they wish. The most important thing to consider in writing is context. The style and vocabulary of your writing should be adjusted depending on the situation.

 I find that in both papers, I write about virtually the same concept of writing, just in different manners.